Cigarettes and Coffee

In college I had a friend spend a semester in France. When he came back and I was grilling him about what it was like, how was the food, and are they as thin as they say on the news?

The answers were the food on campus was ok but nobody ate at the cafeteria instead they lived off of cigarettes and coffee.

Then I asked, thinking of slender women, french clothes, lipstick every day, all tres chic, if they were prettier than American woman...

The answer was "They look like they live off of cigarettes and coffee"

And that's how I feel right now. Food doesn't sound good and worse it doesn't smell good.

I haven't been grocery shopping in weeks. I know I should go but the thought of going into a place so full of food is disturbing. Coffee does sound good. I crave it all.the.time but when I drink it my stomach starts churning and I'm pretty much done for the day. I've been living off of vegetables and plain rice because it's easy and nonthreatening? Nonirritating? Readily available at least. I've lost another 8lbs and add that to the weight I've been loosing since starting this job I now weigh the same I did in 1989.

I'm tired of feeling like death warmed over so I've been doing something about it. I've walked every day for the last 3 weeks. Not far, just around my building on all my breaks or downtown and back in the morning, maybe a mile tops. That hasn't been enough to help so this week I've made a point of cooking every day. Monday was a pork chop and that sat ok. Tuesday was pumpkin curry and that was iffy so today is turkey vegetable soup.

The glossy circular from the grocery store just came in the mail, and without the smell or the thought of crowded aisles, with food being shown as single photos it had a look to it that I could handle. I've started a list. I'm thinking about a trip this Friday.