I normally don't do New Years resolutions but had thought to do one this year.
The last 3 months I have been a little exuberant with purchasing. I had a whole post composed in my head about consumerism and re-examining my life of plenty and making a resolution to not buy anything for the next 3 months to make up for the last 3 months. And as I was going over my spread sheet of all my purchases of 2010, with a little look once and a while at my yarn spreadsheet for fun, playing with the graphs and pie charts. I do love a budget pie chart. When a little voice bubbled up in the back of my head....
"You know, you are wound a little tight."
This is said to me from time to time in my Tuesday night spinning group (I miss that group). Mostly I take it as a complement. I think I'm wound just right. But in a flash I had a glimpse of what she is seeing.
After all, with the last 3 months being an exception, last year I spend $40 or less a month. Sure, I could go to zero as an experiment for 3 months and make it too. Or crash and burn and have yet another missed goal to beat myself up over. But what would it matter? A months worth of grocery money in my bank account. And while that is good the pay off doesn't seem to be worth the sacrifice.
So instead; I will keep up my spreadsheets tracking all my spending and my yarn because knowing gives me pleasure and power too. To keep being mindful of my Quaker faith and with that embrace living simply. To empty out my storage unit. That last is a real goal that will impact my budget and my relationship to stuff in a fell swoop. It will be hard too.
Finally, to keep on being wound just right.