Food in My Teeth

Today I was named Producer of The Month for January. The really big boss came and shook my hand. The big boss told me he was proud of me. Regular boss gave a speech about me. My photo was taken so I can be on the work TV all month. I think I had food in my teeth. Even if I didn't, I was super uncomfortable about the whole thing and couldn't make a natural face for the photo. At least I was wearing one of Mom's necklaces and a sweater I knit.

Yes, the month of January. This is not because of something I did last month, or something I did once. This is for superior work every day for the last 6 months. Miss America is crowned for the up coming year not last. I am just petty enough to notice I am the first from my group to get this. After that? Meh.

I do what needs to be done. I help people. I do the job I'm paid for. That's why I'm paid. I get bored so I do more work. I ask people about what they are doing when they fix a problem I can't fix so I can fix it next time. Or actually, since I don't have the authority to do anything how to get strait to the people that do. It's surprising where they end up. It's no more, no less, then I do all the time. Every job I've ever had. My knitting projects. It doesn't feel special.

My test is next week. After months of being told we had to pass it on the first try, I was just told I really had 3 tries. What a complete relief. I should actually pass it on the first try now. Under the pressure I'm not sure I could have pulled it off. So one week, or maybe 3, and I can go back to blogging about knitting. After all, it's the important stuff.

Nobody's Keeping Secrets Around Here

Yesterday was the Secret Santa reveal at work. I wasn't there. I was having the best Christmas shopping day evahhhh. I was collecting my normal wage while doing my own thing. This is the first time in my life I've had a paid day off that wasn't involved with driving cross country or puking. I am doing it again. In fact, it might be the only kind of day off I ever take again. Well, except for that driving cross country trip in June.

And since I can't let anyone down I did go to work and drop off my own Secret Santa gift. I thought is more fun since I didn't label it and I wasn't there. Sneaky. Fun.

So today, on my desk, was my last Secret Santa gift. The big one. There was a book. 2 bars of dark chocolate. And the best part? The part that made me laugh? Index cards! I love it. I also needed them. I was out again.

Working... Every Night and Day

All I've been doing is working, thinking about work, dreaming about work, and then thinking about work some more.

I'm trying to get my insurance license. It's the first time I've been paid to study. Add that into my department head putting his head out on the line to tell his bosses that he can have all 12 people pass on their first try and then my team lead picking me from her group, me who had only been under her for 45ish days, to represent her and I have a big pile of "don't mess up and disappoint anyone" stress and guilt churning in my gut.

I know my team lead is stressed too since she used to work under Big Boss before. I'm not sure what one has to do with the other but she is counting on me to make her look good with him and I can tell she is worried. Google says that 30% of the people that take the test pass that means 70% don't.

So I've been making flash cards. The little stack is the ones I got right. The big stack the ones I need to keep studying. This is an old photo and shows chapters 1 through 4. We are on chapter 14 now so the stack is much much Much larger. However, the stack of the ones I know is larger too. The two are about equal in height right now, the questions I have down pat and the ones I have no idea. We are covering 6 more chapters this week and then the test is next week. I have to call and schedule it but I admit to dragging my feet a little since learning all 6 chapters by next week is intimidating.


But while this is a work post it's not a test post. Instead I'm writing about something cool about my job. It's the break room. Not the Internet cafe, or the skeeball and basketball hoop in the break room at the other end of the building. (I came up with the theory about 3 years ago when taking tours of offices and design studios the cooler the break room the more the company expects and the less of the chance to use it. That is true. I haven't yet touch a skeeball. I'm just happy to make it to the restroom and get caught up on my work email during my break) No, this is about a little child-sized book case in my break room.

The bottom shelf has Connect Four and Monopoly and Chinese Checkers (see above on how usefully they are) and the top shelf is lost in a sea of news papers. It's the middle shelf that is cool. It's a little lending library where people drop off book they are finished with. Most of the time we are pounded with work but once and a while, on an odd Sunday, an 8 hour shift will have 12 calls and we are tied to our desk unable to do anything but wait to be set free. That's when the lending library is so nice.

There are only about 20 books. Most of them are romance novels and then comes the Christan inspirational books, which leads to the christian romance novels. A nice smattering of mysteries with a person that seems to enjoy British ones best. A book on raising chickens is tucked in there and a little SiFi with Robert Silverberg's Lord Valentines Castle. I think the same copy that was on Dad's nightstand most of my childhood years. Sitting between the bodice rippers is an odd copy of Ayn Rand that I always mull over. Ayn Rand, here, among the light reading. However a new book takes the cake. Debbie Macomber just showed up on the shelf. A knitting novel just shows up. Just like that. How cool is my break room?

Things I Like

I like the time change. Ok, not really. However, I did like going to bed an hour early then waking up an hour early. Not only did I get an extra hour of sleep but I got an extra hour of Sunday morning quiet too.

I also like that butter nut squash is in season. I bought 6 tonight. I now have weeks of roasted butternut squash that I can then turn into cream soups, mashed casseroles, or just eaten with butter ahead of me.

I also like how roasting one can raise the temperature in my apartment by 8 degrees. It warm right now but that won't last. 8 degrees can be the difference between really cold and almost hot.

Boom Chanka Bow Booouw

Take it off, Baby, take it aaall off.

Today is the first of the month after working for 90 days (it only feels like 294) and I finally have time in my PTO bank. 3 hours and 14 min. Oh yea! Baby, we are going to have a sick day with that. I'm going to have to have a talk with someone tomorrow.

But seriously, it's been wearing on me knowing I can't call in sick, take off time for my brother's doctor appointments at KU Med, or even have a vacation day. Ok the vacation day I'm just bitter about, the stress is knowing I can't call in sick even when I feel like ass.

So in the spirit of November I'm dedicating to blogging about things I'm thankful for. No. Thankful is too strong a word. I'm thankful for family and friends and that the miners got out alive. My November is for smaller things I like. Things that I appreciate, that make me smile, or that I enjoy. Little happy things. Like 3 hours of paid time off.

Trick-Or-Treat

Slogtober has done well for me. I'll get photos up soon. Speaking of photos I haven't even finished blogging all the projects I knit in Single Skein September.

I was lieing in bed this morning wondering if it was possible to even get out of bed in such a cold room when the heat turned on. It turns out that it was still set to 55F from last spring. Truthfully, I don't mind. I feel that it still counts because I didn't turn it on, and really at colder than 55 I'm not sure I could get out of bed. I was trying to figure out how to call into work with my mind when I heard the click of it turning on. I went ahead and bumped it up to a nice 62F and I can hear it running now. Such a sweet sound.

It's Not You, It's Me

We need to talk. I know we just spent a nice weekend together with my browsing and buying from your sale bin of overstock colors and fall specials.
I've noticed you've been working out with your smoother strands and lighter skeins. You also have a whole new line of sexy colors. It seems fitting that you have raised your prices again. After all, a sweater of your yarn still costs less than a sweater at a yarn store and you are worth it.

But at the rate I knit and more importantly at the rate I buy yarn I can't keep up. We have grown apart and I have to move on.

I'm always going to treasure our time together. The purple Wonderful Wallaby is my favorite hoodie. I love wearing it so much I sleep in it some nights. Your yarn is the only one that I have unraveled a sweater so I can knit it again into a new sweater. I've always talked about doing that but it never actually seemed worthwhile until your sweater developed a hole.

I suspect that at least two of the colors I received in this box will become too special to knit. That no pattern will live up to the potential and it will be trophy yarn.

As we step into our new chapter I will always cherish you and wish you well, but I have to move on and do what is right for me. To have a chance to knit other yarns. This is good bye, Beaverslide. Keep your chin up. You're going to be just fine.

Baby It's Cold Outside

but it's even colder inside. 2 more days until Nov 1st and I can turn on the heat. I'm thinking of staying up until midnight on Sunday so I can turn the heat on right then.

Now having said that, my thermostat says it's 68F right now as I sit shivering in my long underwear and a sweater on over a wool vest. I normally heat to 62F. The first bit of cold always hits me hard and then I get used to it.

Then again, I'm so cold right now I don't believe my thermostat and I think I'm going to buy a thermometer to keep on my kitchen table so I can tell what the temp really is. I've said I'm going to do that for the last 10 years in my last 4 homes. It's probably me not the thermostat.

I still don't believe my thermostat.

Avoidance

While today is dark and looks cold it's really warm and nice. I knitted outside for a while just enjoying the day. I received my last mosquito bite of the season and picked 7 beautiful ripe tomatoes that I turned into a fresh tomato basil salad for lunch.

I finished the applied I-cord and picked my FLS back up again. There is no way I can face the thumbs of those mittens. I don't know why, no bad feeling wrapped up in that project, I just don't wanna. So I'm avoiding them by finishing other things. I only have 2 balls of yarn left and this sweater is done too. Then I'll avoid the mittens some more by washing dishes and maybe scrubbing the floor. Project avoidance is so productive.

Sureal

Today was one of those days when nothing goes smooth. I leave for work 5 min late, which is fine because I always get to work 10 min early so I can have some calming breaths at my desk before logging on. I make sure my water bottle is full. I put my knitting where I can look at it. I pull out my favorite pen and my To Do list is reviewed. Leaving 5 minutes late I can't fill my water bottle but the rest is still ok.

I'm driving to work watching traffic, thinking about but no longer listening to the radio, and starting to watch the clock when I notice that there are crazy amounts of flashing lights on an exit ramp. I watch the lights like I always do. I never get to see the wreck or what is going on because I can't get my attention away from the flashing. I actually have no idea how other people can. It wasn't until I had driven past that I even realized that was my exit.

Now I really am late and I get to my desk full of adrenaline and that starts out my day. No moment of calm. From there on out I only have interesting calls. Say that mildly, even coolly and that's how it's spoken of in the break room. Interesting actually means so very much more. I call my supervisor with so many questions I start to wonder if she cringes when she sees it's me. Is a car covered from rodent damage? What is the law on cross company discounts in MN?

Thankfully, I have a meeting at 3:00. I love meetings. It's a nice calm, sane, quiet part of the week. They feel important and I actually get to spend time with my team. Although I'm new enough I still don't know half their names. Sometimes we get stickers and balloons. Often there is candy.

Today is not a team meeting but more important or at least more random. It's about a new hoped for program that's been been talked about here and there since I started. I expect more of the same. I took my notebook and went prepared to spend a nice quiet 30 min learning about the company's long term goals. I love company goals meetings. They are less fun and whole lot more professional but I can be pretty sure nobody will expect me to contribute and I can just sit.

It is about the new program but not at all in the way I expected. The talked about hope is now real. I'm one of only 8 chosen to start. It's a possible promotion that requires weeks of intense training and then a passing a test. Heavy influence on possible there but I'm up for a promotion before I've even been there long enough to have any time in my PTO bank! That says something pretty nice about me, I think. It also means I finally have a grown up job. What is a grown up job? It's a job that I get to bring home with me and spend my nights and weekends working on it.

I normally wouldn't mention something so soon and so tenuous so early in case it comes crashing down but since it's going to affect the knitting...

It could go two ways

less knitting time and a whole lot more dysfunctional coping yarn buying
or
more knitting time and a whole lot more dysfunctional coping yarn buying

Wow...just, wow

Today, our computer systems were just limping along. They are never the fastest turtles in the pond but today was bad. Very bad. There was a day this summer they had the dignity to completely crash giving us nothing but a white screen. That was ok. The queue was short because it was an apology and moving onto the next person.

Today, the computer would chunk out the answers. So we would wait and wait, sometimes being able to process some times getting denied so it had to be started over again. All day the computers got slower, the wait in the queue got longer, the room got louder. I now know the weather in every state and the names of most of your dogs too and what you are having for dinner. About 8 pm I started dreaming of having PTO so that I could request tomorrow off, just in case. I opened up my PTO bank and would just look at it's emptiness. That emptiness is the most empty kind.

Tasty Treats

Today was someone's 4th birthday party.
I gave a box of alphabet beads. I'm surprised at how well they were received. We can spend some quiet time sorting colors and stringing words. I like quiet time. Lots and lots of quiet time. Mmmm quiet time and almond butter on caramel rice cakes. Nothing beats that combo.

I think I'll go make me one now.

Applying Myself

Today was a good one with a friend coming to visit, shoe shopping, and eating lunch at my favorite Indian Restaurant. Never mind the missing my exit on the way home, a lake between where I was and where I wanted to be, and finding out the (almost) hard way that my car has a 16 gallon tank rather than the 14 gallon I always thought.

I've picked my next project for Slogtober. It's my Noro birthday sweater. I'm applying the applied I-Cord. I read how to online and watched videos on YouTube. What a pain in the butt.

That is until I pulled out my books and found EZ's instructions in Knitting Workshop. It's brilliant, fantastic, and super easy. Using 2 double pointed needles and picking up the stitches as I go. I'm going to apply I-Cord to everything now.

Nevermind

I still love the coffee but things are back to what they were. Just 45 min after my last post I was wondering if I would even make it into work. This will be the last I mention of since I have little tolerance to people that go on and on about something but don't do anything about it and I'm not planning on doing anything, not now. I finally have health insurance again but I have an HSA plan. I think I'll really like it except it doesn't actually help me until the new year. So I won't do anything until the new year and knowing my aversion to doctors it would take worse than this to go even then.


Look! a bunny

A Little Love

I love the Internet. Just today I've expanded my vocabulary by looking up the meaning of cosplay, Sumatra, and pants used as an adjective. I've joined an Elann fan club. I check it before starting any project in the home. It's how I found out how to pull up, wash, and restreatch a carpet after water leaked into my basement. It's because of the Internet that I can knit the way I do.

I also love Sumatra Fair Trade Coffee. It maybe because of the dark roast* rather than being grown in Sumatra but my churning sickly stomach is all gone. poof! just like that. I've eaten so much since I ran out of my last batch of coffee and started this one that I'm sure I'm packing on the pounds. Food smells good again! It might not be the coffee but nothing at my job has changed for the better and nothing at home has changed either. Nothing much at least.

*A long time ago, when I was a bank teller, the Starbucks manager came in 3 times a day to make a deposit. I mentioned liking coffee but had problems with many of their drinks unless it was the frozen variety since the ice diluted it to a point I could handle. The manager said I should be drinking dark roast because...well, I don't remember the because but I think he said the dark roast has less acid in it.

Huge Mistake at Work

ok, ok maybe just a smallish but very irritating mistake.

Supervisor, not even my own direct supervisor, although I think perhaps a higher ranking one.. O, right the story... Ok... supervisor comes to me and asks of me and she qualifies it first with if I want to, and only if I want to, be sure to say no if I don't want to, no pressure at all, but would I please be willing to move shifts.

And what do I do? I agree to it! I'm an idiot and unable to say no if asked and I'm told I'm needed. I did say Saturdays are verboten and I can't change my Tuesday shift either but do as you please with the rest of them.

I'm not going to go and withdraw my permission but I will be sure and put my name in the next shift bid that comes around.

Autumn

I love fall. The weather is fantastic. The insects are thicker than ever but there is hope that they will die soon. Caramel is in season.
There are festivals every weekend from the first weekend in September to the last one in November.
And squirrels have started stealing the tomatoes so I don't have to deal with them anymore.

I love fall.

Classic

It’s raining a black rain on our tragic hero dressed in a ragged coat while his hat of thick thin hand dyed yarn has a hard worn distressed look to it even when new.

It’s a classic Dystopian story to be sure.

After all dystopian stories are so much more interesting than utopian ones. Matrix, Minority Report, Blade Runner, Fahrenheit 451, the list is longer than my arm. The only stories I could come up with that are even close to an Utopia is the Federation in Star Trek, Gattica, Pleasentville, Lost Horizons and we know how those turned out. Corruption from within, people living on the fringe, all trying to hold it together as it slips away because, really, what is interesting about an Utopia?

Utopia Cable Hat my dystopian version knit in Cascade Jewel a thick and thin hand dyed yarn. Everyone or Ravelry said it ran small or at least short. Since it's a Christmas gift for my brother and he’s a big guy I’ve done 4 repeats of the bottom cable. I think it turned out plenty big.
Look away from the cat hair. There is no cat hair in the photo.

Then I knit an Utopian version in Dream in Color, Classy. Another hand dyed yarn but it's smooth and crisp letting the cables pop. This one I knit to pattern. It is an odd length but I don't think too short. I'm not a fan of the top shaping and would do it different next time. It's also a Christmas gift.

Autumn Festival

Today was the Autumn festival that I vend at with my friends. 6 of us share 2 tents for a fun day of selling fiber arts. I also have soap and candles .

It was a fantastic day of mild weather and good friends and good food. Really good food. I started the day with a caramel coffee, my brunch was buffalo wings from the buffalo burger booth. Afternoon snack, a combination of smoked and candy roasted almonds washed down with fresh squeezed apple juice, followed by a dinner at Waldo Pizza. Yum.

It's actually sort of funny how I go on and on to my booth mates about how I just don't sell my knitting as I'm laying my knitting out with price tags on it. Like that makes me believable.

But what I mean is I don't knit to sell. However, I did knit 10 hats to go with my winter coat this year. So last night as I was rounding up my soap inventory and realized I pretty much have none I pulled out my basket of knits and priced them. I kept my 3 favorite hats (and all the hat's I knit in years past that I had worn) and priced the rest. Same with my mittens, cowls, and my huge stock of baby sweaters. I figured that if any sold that I would have a bit of yarn money.

Now to decide what to spend it on.

Second Chances

I knit on my lunch breaks at work. Usually socks because they are small, easy, and so very portable. I was knitting some of my very favorite Fleece Artist yarn into a lace patterned sock when I noticed the stripes on the bottom of the foot.
I love those stripes. I haven't bought much hand dyed sock yarn that does stripe. It took me knitting the whole foot to be sure about the stripes.
I was sure. I ripped them out and started over in a nice simple 7:1 rib.
The sun blew out the stripes on the photo but they are there.

I'll knit the pattern ones again, only in a solid colored yarn this time.